Domestic and Dating Violence: Part One - Love is Respect

Since March is Women's History Month and because this is an important issue, this post will be Part One in a series about Domestic and Dating Violence. Because so many of our missing women end up injured or killed by their partners, it is vital that we all understand how to recognize the warning signs of an abusive relationship and how to get out of it before we become another statistic.

I will post about all that and more during the next few days but our first post will focus on a great national teen dating abuse hotline called Love Is Respect. If you have a teen daughter, cousin, niece, or a young lady you mentor (or maybe you're the young woman being abused) - this post is for you. So get out your pens and paper, this information can and will save lives!


About the loveisrespect.org National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline:

The loveisrespect.org National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline is a 24 hour resource for teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse. It is specifically designed with teens and young adults in mind, operating around the growing technologies that they use most often: the phone, the web, and chat.

Young men and women, along with their friends and families, can anonymously contact a trained teen dating abuse advocate by phone 24/7 at (866)3331-9474 or TTY (866)331-8453.

They can also chat in a one-on-one, confidential conversation with a peer advocate between the hours of 4 pm and 2 am. All advocates on the loveisrespect.org National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline are trained to offer crisis intervention, safety planning, and referrals from a database of over 4,500 resource providers.

Watch the PSA below for Love Is Respect by Camille Winbush, who play "Vanessa" on The Bernie Mac Show:




10 Teen Dating Abuse Facts


Physical and sexual abuse is the most often talked about piece of dating abuse.

• 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.

• 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.

• 1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.


But dating abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behaviors.

• More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse.

• One-third or more of teens who have been in a relationship have been with a partner who frequently asked where they were and whom they were with.

• 1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.

• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up.


As technologies like cell phones and social networking become the norm for communication, they can also be used to further abuse and control.

• One in three teens (30%) say they are text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they're doing, or who they're with.

• 68% of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem.

• 71% of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem.


So how you know if you're being abused?

Take the quiz below to find out if you are at risk of being abused or is being abused:

Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Act jealous or possessive?
Put you down or criticize you?
Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
Text or IM you excessively?
Blame you for the hurtful things they say and do?
Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
Try to force you to have sex before you’re ready?
Do they hit, slap, push or kick you?

If you said yes to even one, you may be in an abusive relationship. Get help immediately - a relationship is not supposed to scare or hurt you.





For more information on Love is Respect, visit their website here.


More resources and links:

What You Need To Know About Dating Violence: A Teen Handbook

Know The Red Flags

Break The Cycle

The Date Safe Project

Choose Respect

See It and Stop It

Teen Wire

Note: All info in this post is provided by the Love Is Respect website.


Stay Safe and Stay tuned for Part Two!